At 8:00 a.m. sharp Klaus sat down at his desk, coffee in one hand, paper in another. At 8:01 a. m. Eroica walked in.
"Major," Dorian said, looking as if he had just made some monumental decision that might change the fate of history.
"Eroica."
Dorian walked to the center of the room, began to speak, stopped, sat in the chair opposite Klaus's desk. He fidgeted, then stood again.
"Major," he said at last, affecting an aloofness that seemed exaggerated even for him, "I no longer love you."
Klaus looked up at him. "Okay," he said, then pushed a file folder in Dorian's direction, "could you hand that to Herr B on your way out?"
Dorian looked at the file as if it might bite him, then at the Major as if he'd told it to do so. "What do you mean 'okay'? I said, Major, that--"
"I heard you, Eroica."
Dorian looked scandalized. "And?"
Klaus shrugged. "And... could you hand that to Herr B on your way out?"
Dorian bristled. Klaus could swear his big hair got even fluffier, like a cat on the defense trying to look bigger than it was. He stomped a foot. Twice. His arms were arrow straight at his sides and ended in fists. It occurred to Klaus that Dorian was throwing a tantrum. Not what he expected, really... even better than he expected.
"Now see here, Major! You don't seem to grasp the gravity of my statement. I no longer love you. I have grown tired of chasing you and you shall have to do without my help or presence in your missions and personal life henceforth!" The last bit was punctuated with an accusatory pointed finger, then Dorian seemed to cool, but just slightly. "In fact, Major, this will probably be the last time you shall ever see me... that we shall ever see one another." He must have realized then just what it was that he was saying. He watched the ground, his anger barely hiding the sadness beneath.
Klaus was giddy. He stood, walked over to Dorian and put a hand on the other man's shoulder. Dorian looked up at him and he saw a glimmer of hope in the thief's eyes, wet around the edges. He felt him tremble. It was touching, really.
"Really, Eroica. It's okay..." he said gently, almost smiling, "...now get the fuck out." With that he took the shocked Dorian by the arm and escorted him roughly through the door, gave him a final shove out and closed the door between himself and the thief.
"Idiot," he said, but smiled.
_________
Dorian stood on the other side of the Major's door, looking somewhat bewildered and blinking away tears. G brought him a tissue.
"The tears were a nice touch, Lord Gloria..." G whispered, "I thought for sure you had him this time."
"Me, too! I must try them again," Dorian agreed, smiling and doing his best to repair the damage done by the false waterworks. Most of the Alphabets were at their respective desks, but only a few were interested enough to stare. The first few times had been interesting enough, but it was getting boring, really. Occasionally Dorian would get really creative in his efforts to win the Major's affection, but nothing had yet surpassed the abduction attempt. Who knew the Major was double-jointed?!
"I think the tantrum was a bit much, though," Dorian said, "I believe he rather enjoyed it!"
"Don't worry, Earl," said A as he passed by, patting Dorian's back, "he'll come around. You'll see."
G nodded in agreement, as did several other nearby Alphabets. Dorian smiled at them and felt encouraged. He was definitely making headway.
"Oh, B!" he said before leaving, "I quite forgot, the Major asked me to bring you a file. You may want to fetch it from his desk."
B looked a little nervous but smiled and waved goodbye to Dorian's back. "Will do, Lord Gloria. See you tomorrow!"
Author's Chapter Notes:
For Margaret's Birthday.