Chapter Three

Go Fish

An expression used to dismiss someone or an idea as absurd.

*

Jakarta, Indonesia
Early August 2002

Eroica stood looking through the sweltering haze that obscured most of the tall buildings in downtown Jakarta. He could not seem to get away from the heat. He remembered how it had obscured the two Petronas Towers looming high in Kuala Lampur, Malaysia, where he had just spent another fruitless search. He found the memory had him automatically comparing those towers to the numerous phallic objects that were so much a part of Lord Gloria, Pervert Extraordinaire. Then another set of twin towers came to mind, sheets of flame, dust and debris, bodies tumbling into space, and he felt a pang in his heart followed by a lump in his throat. Could the Major have become so sufficiently unhinged and vengeful that he would trade the secrets in his possession to a group capable of doing such things to innocent civilians? In his heart, Eroica prayed the answer was still a vehement no, but as the days of searching stretched into weeks, his resolve started to falter.

It was glaringly obvious that all the official channels had no clue as to the Major's plans. After his expert hacking-job at NATO, there hadn't been so much as a whisper from him. This was a blessing and a curse as time ticked by. He could be doing nothing more dangerous than dropping off the face of the Earth, removing himself forever from world politics. Or, he could be gathering everything he needed to start World War III from the safety of an isolated location. Oh, hell, he could be starting up his own country for all anyone knew.

And I'm supposed to find him. Then what? Eroica didn't want to think about that one. "Find Iron Klaus and bring him back," the General had said. Yeah, right. The KGB had tried unsuccessfully to do that for decades. The Soviet Union collapsed and they never managed to get him to Moscow. How could they expect a small band of thieves to have any better success?

They want me to kill him. They won't say it in so many words, but that's what they want.

The only problem that Eroica could see in this scenario was the fact that he was more likely to be killed by the Major than vice versa.

Bloody fucking marvelous.

* * *

"That was another waste of time," Bonham said as he followed Eroica and James out of a large office building.

"It's like a trail of bread crumbs." Eroica sighed heavily, pushing his sweat soaked hair out of his face. "This is hopeless."

I could've told you that weeks ago, James thought, giving him a sideways look. "I wish you'd come up with something else to say," he moaned. "It's not like the man wants to be found."

"Thank you for the positive input, James," Eroica snapped. He looked up at the sun beating down on them. "I'm not sure which is worse; freezing to death in Alaska, or baking in Indonesia." He looked around. "Let's get out of this heat. My head is already killing me."

"I'd still like to know what we're supposed to do when we do find him?" Bonham said reasonably.

"How the hell should I--?" Eroica broke off, a hand going to his pounding head. "Sorry, Bonham," he said more gently. "I have no idea what I'm going to do, actually. They said to find him and bring him back. They never told me exactly how I'm to go about doing that."

"Some master of improvisation you are lately!" James sneered.

"You know, I liked you better when you were sniveling."

"Fuck you! No...never mind, the Major already tried that, didn't he?"

Eroica gave him a dangerous look, a hand balling into a fist. "Mark my words, James. I'm going to happily beat the shit out of you when the Company finally decides to give up and debrief me."

"Sssh" James hissed, looking around.

"James, we're in the middle of Jakarta," Bonham said coldly. "How many of these buggers do you think even know that the CIA is ‘the Company'?"

"I don't care. I know."

"Swell," Eroica replied sarcastically as he moved into the shade. "You keep that piece of intel all to yourself, then. Enter in your PDA so you don't forget."

James gave him an annoyed scowl before looking down at his PDA. "We'll try Rio next," he said, tapping out a few things as he spoke. "I got a hint of a blip from there yesterday about some odd bartering transactions--"

"Because the Nazis hid in South America? Is that the logic behind this ridiculous fishing expedition?" Eroica interrupted. "Christ, why don't we just give up and hand this back to NATO?"

James and Bonham exchanged a meaningful look. Before either of them could think of a suitable comeback, a large black sedan came screaming towards them, scattering pedestrians in its wake.

"Bloody hell!" Bonham gasped, taking an alarmed step back as the car practically ran them over as it pulled up in front of them.

"Why don't you watch where you're--!" Eroica's admonition was cut off when a familiar blond man got out of the passenger side, gun in hand. "Z..." he said in a small voice.

"If any of you tries to run, I'll kill you," Z said coldly as he pulled open the back door. "Get in."

Eroica exchanged a helpless look with Bonham, who shrugged and did as ordered. James opened his mouth to object, only to have a hand clamped firmly over it. Eroica lifted him bodily off his feet, and practically threw him into the car.

"I'm unarmed, and so is James," Eroica said calmly as he turned back to the glowering Z. He locked eyes with the other man. "Bonham, surrender your weapon, please," he ordered without turning.

Bonham gave a horrified squeak, but did as ordered. He held out his gun, which was taken by the driver. Eroica did not take his eyes from Z's face. He was stunned by the hard lines of anger etched into it. This was not the face of an innocent. This was the face of a trained killer.

"We won't fight or try to escape," Eroica heard himself saying before he calmly got into the car himself.

The solid black divider between the front and rear of the car went up as Eroica got in. He caught a flash of a blond head and realized the driver was Agent G. James started to make some noises of protest and was quickly silenced by Eroica. "Will you shut up! We don't want to antagonize them," he snarled between his teeth. This was not helping his pounding head, either.

"We don't want to antagonize them!" James squeaked.

"James, for once in your life, shut up!" Bonham snapped with uncharacteristic venom.

Eroica gave him a startled look, drew a deep breath, and leaned back in his seat. The CIA and NATO wanted him to find the Major but had been very thin on instructions about after that. Eroica closed his eyes, hearing a familiar hiss. He knew exactly what that meant. Knock out gas. His last thoughts before passing out were to wonder if this was how his superiors had planned to eliminate the persona of the Earl of Gloria.

* * *

Moving... No, swaying.

The world is swaying.

Why is the world swaying?

One after another, Eroica's senses kicked in. After motion came hearing, registering creaks, splashes, and the hum of an engine. Then came the smell of seawater and the reek of diesel fuel. I'm on a boat. Not a good thing. He had never faired well on small boats. He had often found himself wishing he were like the real Earl, descended from pirate stock. He struggled further into consciousness, finding more darkness. This was followed by waves of nausea and the seemingly perpetual pounding headache. On top of this, the fumes were making him cough. God, I hate small boats.

There were voices close by, murmuring amongst themselves, but too low for him to hear any actual words. He moaned and coughed as he tried to move, which turned out to be a mistake. "I'm gonna be sick," Eroica said in a low voice, hoping it would gain someone's attention.

It did. The response was several curses in German. Then someone large was hauling him up and placing his upper body over something rough and wooden. He realized vaguely that the wooden ridge scraping his stomach was the gunwale of a boat that was skipping smoothly along the water. His face was pointed in the right direction. "If you're gonna be sick, do it that way," came the order in English, "or you'll have it back in your face."

There was no gracefully or dignified way to do this. Eroica could hear the water moving beneath him as he emptied his stomach into the waves he had no idea how far below. He was held firmly in place until he was sure he would not be sick again. At least whoever it was holding him held his hair back so it didn't get soiled. Then he was set back down and leaned against more wood. He was given some water to wash his mouth out, and something dry to help settle his empty stomach.

After a moment, Eroica was moved back onto something softer than the wood deck. He rested on his side as awareness finally returned in full force. He couldn't see anything because he'd been blindfolded. His hands were tied behind his back and secured against his body. His ankles were also bound.

He listened for a minute, trying to get his bearings. "There's no need for all this," he said mildly. "I'm not exactly going to go anywhere."

"Nein," said a low voice. "You stay as you are."

Marvelous. "Look, I am perfectly willing to-" Eroica didn't even realize that he had dropped into his placating voice until he was cut off.

"Eroica is always willing, isn't he? You're lucky we don't throw you overboard like that for what you did."

Oh, bloody hell. Why don't I just kill myself and save you all the trouble? Eroica shook these thoughts from his mind and tried to recall his last clear memory. Bonham and James were beside him in the backseat of a car, Agents G and Z in the front. "The others...?"

"They haven't woken up yet."

This person had to be one of the Alphabet, but Eroica couldn't tell which. He seemed to be trying to disguise his voice. It wasn't petite G, the voice was too deep and had an odd growl in the tone. Strange to think of any of the Alphabet with the backbone to growl. Then again, they had survived the command of Iron Klaus and had shown the backbone to abscond with him. That is, if that was what they had done. Eroica still didn't know exactly what the Major had told them.

"May I ask where you're taking me?" he said, trying to keep his voice even as he heard another man approach.

"You've been looking for Iron Klaus, haven't you? To question him?"

Question him? Sure, why not? "Yes."

"Well, he has questions for you, too."

Eroica felt his heart miss a beat at what he perceived to be a threatening tone and he suddenly felt very light headed. "Questions..." he repeated quietly. Questions meaning interrogation? By Iron Klaus? Oh, hell, if his mind really has snapped... A hand suddenly gripped his shoulder, causing him to jump and give a startled cry of alarm.

"Do you think we're like the KGB?" This was a new voice, lacking the other's bravado. "There will only be questions."

"You'll forgive me for being dubious. I've seen Iron Klaus question people before..." As he spoke, Eroica suddenly realized who this new voice belonged to. "Z," he added.

"Don't try to use any friendship you might have had, Herr CIA," Z said coolly.

Well, that answers one question. He told them that much.

"And don't even think about trying to flirt with him, Eroica. You hurt him with that...act."

Another question checked off. "I know. That was never my intention, Z." There were disbelieving snorts in reply. He heard the man who had dragged him to the side of the ship move away and counted at least three others.

"We're not NATO anymore, Herr CIA. We answer to our own names now."

Which are? After a lengthy pause, Eroica realized that he was obviously not on the A-list for learning those names. There was a muttered conversation and then Z was back at his side, pulling him to a sitting position. "Drink," came the order as a cup was held to his mouth.

Eroica pulled back as best he could. "What is it?"

"Something to keep you from getting sick again."

"It's a drug, isn't it?"

"It will make you sleepy, nothing more."

Eroica wondered if the liquid would be forced down his throat if he refused. Then he remembered that he had promised to cooperate and drank without further protest. Clearly, they had been ordered not to harm him, which did not really ease his mind. It could only be because the Major wanted to do all the harm himself.

Over the next few hours, he lay quietly dozing where Z left him, trying to judge where he was each time the choking smell of diesel fuel caused him to cough to the point that he rose to the surface. There was a lot of open water in this part of the world, and thousands of tiny islands available to renegades. At some point, he heard Bonham and James wake, the latter causing quite a commotion. He had no idea what occurred, but the little man's protests were very abruptly cut off. He wondered if they'd gagged him instead of drugging him. He found himself wishing he had not been blindfolded in order to watch the altercation.

Eroica surfaced from a doze when the engine slowed. He sensed the boat turning in a tight place, threading between surfaces that threw back echoes, and then nudging up against a stable surface. A dock, presumably.

Eroica smelled the unmistakable scent of chloroform when the first man returned to his side. We must be somewhere I'd recognize. "Aren't I helpless enough for you?"

"We can't trust you, Herr CIA."

A moment later, a damp cloth was held over his mouth and nose. Despite his best efforts, Eroica still struggled against the powerful grip as the fear of being smothered overpowered him. Within a few seconds, he slipped below the surface of consciousness once more.

* * *