Dangerous Work

“My lord, you have to protect me!” James cried as he dashed over to where the Earl stood preening himself before a mirror.

“I did warn you this would happen,” Dorian said mildly.

“Bbbb…bbbb…but…it’s been weeks—months—since you’ve stolen anything!” James countered. “All that time and no income! None!”

Dorian sighed heavily, reluctantly turning from his reflection to look at the figure now cowering at his feet. “My dear James, we’ve been over this a dozen times,” he said patiently. “I can’t continue to be a thief and be a superhero at the same time.”

“Before you were Fabulousman, you were Eroica. You are Eroica!”

Dorian opened his mouth only to close it again. Then he cocked his head to one side, listening. “Sounds like a car coming up the—” He broke off when James let out a loud wail and burst into tears.

The Earl was still trying to calm his accountant when a loud hammering sounded on the front door. He did not even have to use his super hearing to know who it was when the hammering was followed by a loud bellow of, “Eroica!” This was immediately followed by James crying in terror, going on to dive behind the drapes. “You have to protect me!”

“James…”

James popped his head out from behind the drapes. “If you’re a hero, then you have to!”

Before Dorian could think of a suitable reply, the door to the room crashed open and a fuming Klaus stood on the threshold. I should’ve said there was a storm coming.

“Where is he?” the Major thundered.

James made a small strangled noise, vanishing behind the ocean of material again.

Dorian inwardly counted to ten, put on a bright smile, and turned to the seething man at his door. “Major, what a pleasant surprise,” he said brightly.

Klaus waved a thick envelope in the air. “Where is he?”

“Now, Major…”

“Don’t even try to protect that money grubbing little insect!” Klaus snarled as he stormed into the room. “I’m gonna skin him alive.”

A hand went to Dorian’s mouth. “Please, I’ve just had lunch.”

Klaus’s eyes narrowed. “Did you know about this?” he asked, waving the offending envelope in the air.

“Er, um…well…”

“Dammit!”

“James is just looking after my interests—” Dorian said feebly.

James reappeared, yelling, “It’s your fault his costumes were ruined!” When the officer glared at him, he realized his mistake and let out a squeak before returning to hiding.

“—numbers are his life,” the Earl went, acting on as though there had been no interruption.

“They’re gonna be his death!” Klaus thundered back. He tore up the contents of the envelope before throwing the papers in the air. Then he took an angry step forward only to find his way barred by the Earl. “Get out of my—” Klaus’s words were cut off when his mouth was captured in a passionate kiss. He made a few sounds of protest before finally calming, returning the kiss.

Dorian leaned back, looking into the officer’s eyes. “I love you, Klaus.”

Klaus knew when to accept defeat and heaved an exasperated sigh. “One of these days,” he growled, pointing a finger at the Earl, “that isn’t gonna work.” So saying, he turned on his heel and tromped from the room, slamming the door behind him.

Dorian sighed heavily, crossing to the window and watching as the officer stormed from the Castle and to his car. “I am only going to say this once, James,” he said as the car roared away. “Stop sending Fabulousman bills to the Major!”

* * *