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An hour later, he was jogging back to the villa, feeling somewhat better. He knew Z would do as ordered, and his men would follow his instructions. If he could get Eroica’s team on board, things should work out in their favor without too much trouble. They’d have to survive long enough to allow the wheels of justice to turn, but if they could hold out for a few weeks they’d be okay. Once JAG caught up with the General, he wouldn’t be able to do anything against them because he’d be too busy defending himself against the allegations.

‘Dorian is going to be ecstatic. This kind of shit is just up his alley,’ he thought as he crested the hill and stepped onto the stone terrace.

Dorian wasn’t immediately in evidence, but Klaus found him sitting in the study with Bonham and the Stingy Bug. The Earl looked up the moment he walked into the room as the Bug screamed and hid under the table.

“Major, you’re back. I was beginning to get worried,” Dorian greeted, rising to his feet.

“Bah! I’m fine. But I need to talk to you,” he snapped, feeling uncomfortable under the Earl’s worried, blue gaze.

“Of course. What is it you need, Major?”

“You’re going to have to kidnap me again,” he stated.

The Earl raised his eyebrows curiously. “I beg your pardon? Not that I object to having you at my mercy, Major, but weren’t you telling me just this afternoon that you were going to go back with Agent A?” Eroica smoothed, a wry smile on his lips.

“Plans have changed. I ran into Z on the beach. He told me my men have orders to hand me over to central command for debriefing, and to capture you and turn you over to INTERPOL.”

For a moment the Earl looked stunned, then the blue eyes went cold and his mouth set into a grim line. “That philandering General is behind it! The cretin!”

Klaus nodded. “He’s a Yank, and you know how Yanks feel about that sort of thing.”

“It’s not looked too kindly upon by the German military either,” Dorian pointed out.

“Nor NATO, but the Americans can be guaranteed to make a spectacle out of it.”

“True,” the Earl conceded. “So what’s the plan? Am I to drug you and spirit you away in the night to a location so secret not even you know where you are?”

“Nothing so dramatic, but it would be good if I didn’t know where we were going beforehand,” he corrected.

“You’re serious!” Dorian gasped.

He glared at the Earl and wished for a cigarette. “Ja.”

“I was just joking!”

“I wasn’t. Wherever we go, we’ll need to be there for a while, just until the second half of the plan can be implemented.”

“Which is?”

“Getting a copy of that harlot’s list to a JAG advocate in Germany.”

“Oh, Major, that’s dangerous business, especially if he is on to us,” the Earl said, shaking his head.

“It’s a risk we have to take. If we don’t bring Bayden down, we’ll never be safe and neither will my men.”

“None of your agents can do it; they’re too well known. It’ll have to be one of my men, and I think I know just the one. He’s in England right now. I’ll have to contact him,” the Earl said, looking thoughtful.

“You’ll have to use a pay phone. The lines here are being tapped as well as our cell phones,” he informed.

“Not to worry. Mr. James has a number of cell phones he’s dug out of the garbage. I’ll use one of them.”

“Gut,” he agreed, still itching for a cigarette. What was it about work that made him crave nicotine?

“All the same, I may take a drive tomorrow. Y’know, go up to Naples for a bit of shopping or at least that’s how it will look.”

“I’ll go with you.”

“Wouldn’t that look suspicious? Going shopping with me one day and getting kidnapped by me the next?” the Earl questioned.

Klaus frowned. “I hate it when you’re right.”

“And it happens so often, doesn’t it, Major? It must be a serious blow to your ego,” Dorian replied, looking anything but contrite.

“Watch it, thief. I have my gun back, remember?” he growled.

“I wouldn’t do that, Major. You know how I get when you go all Wire Rope and Immovable Object on me. Makes me weak in the knees,” Eroica responded, twirling a finger in one short curl.

“Damnit, Lord Gloria! This is serious!” he scolded, losing patience with the foppish act.

“I am being serious,” Dorian insisted. “I can’t help it if I love it when you behave like the German tank you are.”

“Eroica…” he warned. Damn, he’d give anything for a cigarette right now. There were a number of smokers among the staff. Maybe he could intimidate one of them into giving him one or two or ten…

“It’s all your fault, you Machine Maniac!” Mr. James yelled, coming out from under the table. “If it weren’t for you, M’Lord wouldn’t be wanted by some crazy General and we’d be back on track making money, instead of spending fortunes on this villa!”

“You mean stealing,” he deadpanned, but the realization that the Earl had been footing the bill for everything suddenly didn’t sit so well with him. He’d have to reimburse Dorian for most of his expenses and pay for his upkeep over the last two months.

Dorian seemed to sense his sudden discomfort and waved a dismissive hand. “Don’t listen to him, Major. You are worth any amount of money. I’d spend every last dime of my fortune if it meant you would be safe and well.”

“Noooooo!!! M’Lord, don’t say such things!” the Bug cried, covering his ears, then he turned one blazing eye towards Klaus. “I hate you! The Earl was happy before he met you! I wish you had died when those men caught you!”

“Jamesie!” Dorian gasped, appalled. “Apologize to the Major at once!”

“No! I won’t. Our lives were so much better before you met him! You’ve wasted twenty years of your life chasing him! He’ll never love you! Ever!”

“James!”

But there was no consoling the Bug, and he ran out of the study, sobbing. Dorian gave Klaus a helpless look.

“I apologize for him.”

Klaus shrugged. “No need. He is what he is.”

Dorian sighed. “Yes, but sometimes I do wish he’d have a midlife crisis and wake up one morning with the desire to wear Armani and buy a yacht.”

He snorted and gave the Earl an amused look. “That will never happen.”

“Oh, I know, but you know me. I am the patron saint of hopeless causes,” Dorian replied with a shrug and a bat of his blue eyes.

He chuckled at that and shook his head. “I will refrain from commenting at the risk of offending my host.”

Dorian snickered and cast him a wicked glance. “There’s sooo many ways I could answer that, my dear Major, but if I am to plan your kidnapping, I need to get busy with Bonham. When, pray tell, is this great caper supposed to happen?”

“Day after tomorrow. You’re supposed to intercept me on my way to meet my men,” he explained.

“But, I am assuming, your men should bear witness to your abduction?”

“Ja.”

The Earl gave a delighted grin that made Klaus very uncomfortable. “Oh, the possibilities… Well, yes, you run along now. If you don’t want any details, you need to shoo. I have forty-eight hours to plan and pull off the greatest heist of my career: stealing you, Major.”

“Hey, don’t make a spectacle of it! Just grab me and run. Besides, technically you’ve already stolen me,” he reminded, wondering what the hell he’d just gotten himself into.

Eroica waved a cautionary finger. “Tut! Tut! Major that was all brute force and desperation. I’d had no time to plan ahead! It lacked my usual finesse and style! This time will be different. I have a reputation to uphold, you know.”

He clenched his fists at his sides and glared. “I am going to go clean my gun! So I can use it! To shoot your empty head right off your shoulders!”

“Promises, promises, my dear Major. Now go on. Eroica, the world’s greatest thief, has a kidnapping to orchestrate. Shoo!”

He growled, but turned on his heel and stomped out of the room. Dorian’s voice called him back from the hallway.

“Oh, and Major, ask Benino for some cigarettes. You look like you could use one.”

“Shut up, you stupid idiot! I do not need a cigarette, and I certainly don’t need to beg a crappy Italian cigarette off the groundskeeper! Mind your own business, you degenerate thief!” he shouted back. Mein gott it felt good to yell. To feel good enough to yell, to just fill his lungs and roar…

“And ask him for some Nescafe! You need some caffeine too!” the Earl added, snickering.

He didn’t grace that with an answer as he tromped down the hall and headed to their bedroom. There he angrily snapped open the gun cleaning kit and pulled out his .44, immersing himself in the task of disassembling the firearm and servicing it. The familiar act of cleaning and oiling the Magnum calmed him down, and soon he was humming Panzerlied to himself.

When he was finished cleaning, reassembling, and reloading the gun, he put it under his pillow, noting as he did so that his fingers brushed against one of the knives Dorian kept there. There were two more under the other pillow for a total of four knives and the .44 all within hand’s reach in the bed. Anyone who tried to accost either him or Dorian in the night would quickly be skewered and shot. There was comfort in that.

Once he was done stowing the Magnum, he stripped and took another quick shower, dressing in his pajamas but leaving off the undershirt in deference to the night’s heat, then he got under the covers and sat up reading while he waited for Dorian to come to bed.

In the beginning, when he was feeling stronger and better, he had tried going to sleep without the Earl beside him, but he’d found sleep to be elusive and fitful when it did come. The tiniest noise would rouse him, and he’d wake up in a panic, unsure of where he was or if there was danger. He would still hear his captors’ rough voices, smell their stink, feel their bodies as they’d used him at their leisure. Towards the end, he’d heard them complaining that he was no sport anymore because he didn’t fight them and he’d gotten so… loose from the repeated rapes. They’d been talking about trying his mouth again, wondering if he’d still try to bite down now that he was so weak and ill. The first time one of them had tried, Klaus had snapped his jaw shut so fast, he’d nearly bit the man’s dick off. The unfortunate man had screamed bloody murder, then punched him in the face so hard, he’d almost broken Klaus’s jaw. He remembered thinking that he hoped they’d choke him and just put him out of his misery.

But if Dorian was there, he slept peacefully, feeling safe and knowing he was protected. He didn’t like to examine that too closely, although he knew he’d have to eventually. One of the good things about having Dorian “kidnap” him again was that it prolonged their time together, and he could put off dealing with it for a while longer. If he did, he wouldn’t have to face the fact that maybe he wasn’t handling his ordeal as well as others thought he was, that he still woke suddenly, in a cold sweat, convinced he was back in that dank cell, in agony, on fire from the fever, and praying for death.

So he didn’t bother trying to go to sleep without the Earl there. He just piled pillows up behind his back and read his military mystery until Dorian breezed in about ninety minutes later. The Earl was aware that Klaus couldn’t sleep without him, but he’d never made an issue of it. He gave Klaus a sweet smile, his eyes soft and warm, as he gathered up his nightclothes and prepared for his nighttime toilette.

“Is everything settled then?” he asked curiously.

Dorian grinned and made a motion of zipping his lips. “You shall get no information out of me, Major.”

“Hmmph, all I need to do is wrap you up in a blanket and threaten to drop you off the balcony,” he grumbled.

“Yes, but that was for nothing so important as me being in Denmark to attend a ballet. This has to do with your safety, Major. No amount of torture can make me speak. I’d die before I’d reveal anything.”

Klaus frowned because he knew for certain that the thief was dead serious. Dorian gave him a measuring look then brightened, waving a careless hand.

“But listen to me, going all maudlin and serious on you. Nothing is going to happen to you. I am Eroica, the world’s greatest thief, and you are under my protection.”

“Heh. At least I’m not a microfilm, and you’re not up against a Steamroller or an old lady with a handbag,” he teased, referring to Eroica’s antics in Vienna a few years back.

“Yes, but if you were a microfilm, I wouldn’t put you in a cross around my neck. I’d put you in my belt,” the Earl replied with a leer. “Or… or I’d keep you as a microdot in my underwear!”

“Go brush your teeth, you pervert, before I throw this book at you!” he yelled.

Dorian snickered, still grinning, and skittered off to the bathroom, and Klaus groused and fumed for a bit while the Earl did his nightly things of brushing his hair and teeth and changing into his pajamas. The thief preferred flimsy silk things that were opaque, but barely. Klaus had complained at first until Dorian had informed him that he usually slept in only his briefs or, if it was very hot at night, nothing at all. After that, Klaus stopped bitching about the Earl’s nightwear, using it as further proof of the man’s degenerate nature.

But he hadn’t thought of the Earl as a degenerate in any serious capacity for years, and certainly not in the last eight weeks. All teasing and innuendo aside, he knew Dorian would never touch him inappropriately or behave in a lewd manner towards him, so when the thief finally emerged from the bathroom all ready for bed, Klaus set his book aside and moved to the left on the mattress, inviting the other man in. He always snuggled on Klaus’s right side, so the Major would move over to give him room.

Dorian smiled, stowing his red kaftan in a drawer, and slipped between the sheets. Klaus rearranged the pillows, making sure the Magnum and the knives were properly positioned, and settled on his back. Before his capture, he usually slept prone, occasionally rolling to one side. Now he noticed that he curled up into a defensive position and tangled himself in the blankets. Dorian usually curled around him, one hand on his shoulder and his cheek pressed to the back of Klaus’s head. He never put his arm around the Major because that would make Klaus feel confined, but the light fingers resting on his shoulder were enough to let Klaus know Dorian was there.

When he was so sick with his injuries and infection, the Earl’s presence was the only thing he could cling to as reality spun away in a fever dream. Dorian’s voice and gentle touch would call him back from his delirium as cool cloths were laid across his sweaty brow, and he’d drift, somewhere between wakefulness and sleep, in a kind of numb state where there was no pain or fear only Dorian. Now that he was better, there were no fever dreams, but the Earl’s presence still made him feel secure.

“Ohh, it was a long day, wasn’t it?” Dorian commented, stretching out on his back.

“Ja,” he agreed, reaching up to turn off the bedside light.

“You were so busy with the car, we didn’t even take our afternoon nap. It’s no wonder we’re both so knackered,” the Earl sighed.

“Hmmph,” he grunted. “Don’t need one anymore.”

He didn’t. Right after his rescue, and during his recovery, it wasn’t unusual for him to wear out and need to rest in the middle of the day. During those times, he and Dorian would lie down together in the den or the olive grove or sometimes back in bed. They’d sleep for an hour or two, and he’d wake refreshed and rejuvenated. But he hadn’t really needed one lately, although he often took one just to escape the hot sun in the afternoon. The villa was designed to be cool even without air conditioning, and it was best to be out of the sun during the hottest part of the day.

“No, but the Italians have it right, taking a rest in the heat of the day.”

“Lazy grape-stompers, sleeping half the day and wasting the rest drinking coffee,” he complained with a huff.

“You don’t have a high opinion of anyone who isn’t German, do you?” the Earl teased.

“Nein.”

“Pray tell, what do you think of Englishmen?” Dorian asked with a hint of amusement.

“They’re either fops like you or idiots like that SIS Agent Lawrence.”

“Ohhh, the Emperor of Hamburg Nights. Yes, I never did hear the rest of that story.”

He ground his teeth and stiffened, his hands clenching into fists. “Do not remind me. The man snored and constantly disturbed my sleep! It was horrible.”

“Ooohh, my poor Major. Was he not a considerate bedmate like me?” the Earl cooed with mock innocence.

“Pah! You? You hog the blankets and kick me with your cold feet.”

“Oh dear. Do I? I do apologize,” Dorian replied, but he sounded anything but sorry.

“You should try to be more considerate. I am your guest. You should do your best to accommodate me,” he stated matter-of-factly, but inwardly he was laughing and the Earl knew it.

“Yes, dear. I promise to try to be more aware of my blanket hogging.”

“What is it with you and pet names?” he complained.

“What? I’ve saved your life twice. I’m about to kidnap you again to save you from a corrupt General who most likely wants you dead. We’ve been sleeping in the same bed for two months. We’re in bed now and you’re not wearing an undershirt, so that means you’re half naked, and you’re telling me I can’t all you dear?” the thief protested, one eyebrow arched.

“Well, all right, if you put it that way. Dear is okay,” he begrudgingly agreed.

“But not darling.”

“I might shoot you. I just cleaned my gun.”

“Yes, dear,” Dorian replied, a smile in his voice.

“Idiot.”

“Yes, dear.”

“Shut up,” he snapped, peeved.

“Yes, dear,” Dorian parroted happily. “See? We’re already like an old married couple. Yes, dear. Yes, dear.”

He huffed, breathing out sharply through his nose. “Quit your foppish nonsense and go to sleep.”

“Yes, dear.”

He grumbled, but then Dorian was snuggling up, and he was getting drowsy. It had been a long day, and he hadn’t had a nap. Long, thin fingers stroked his hair tenderly as the thief whispered into his ear.

“Sleep well, my dear Major. Mary had a little lamb. Mary had a little lamb. Little lamb. Little lamb…”

Klaus was asleep before Dorian could sing the second verse.
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