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Disclaimer: The‘From Eroica with Love’ characters belong to Aoike Yasuko-sensei and their rightful copyright holders. I do not claim to own any of these characters. No profit is made out of this story.

Author’s Note: This was my first attempt at a fanfiction story. To be honest, I never thought I’d write something like that, but I was completely taken by this manga and somehow I was inspired to write this story. Thank you for reading, and I look forward to your reviews.

Chapter 1 – Insomnia

Major Klaus Heinz von dem Eberbach was in the gymnasium of Schloss Eberbach, finishing his evening workout. He had flown home from a mission that very morning, and had spent the entire day at the office debriefing, but still would not omit this daily routine. He knew well that the more exhausted he was, the less annoying thoughts would come between him and his sleep, and lately there had been no shortage of them.

As soon as the last set of sit-ups was completed, he walked briskly to the adjacent bathroom to take a shower. He undressed and tossed his sweaty tracksuit and underwear into the hamper, and then, oddly enough, proceeded to fasten a chain and padlock around it, locking it securely with a key he had around his neck, before finally stepping into the shower. Now, most people don’t find it necessary to put their dirty laundry under lock and key; but then again most people are not plagued by foppish expert thieves entertaining all kinds of dirty notions about them and their underwear. After a particularly infuriating incident three years ago, involving a pair of his briefs and a certain foppish thief he would like very much to strangle, the Major had put chains and padlocks around every hamper in the Schloss likely to contain any of his personal clothing. Not that a padlock could possibly stop that damned pest of a faggot who could crack open a vault in his sleep, but at least he was making a point of prohibiting access to his clothes – and especially the most private ones.

The shower water stopped running and seconds later the Major emerged, wrapping an enormous bath towel around himself the instant he got out. He could never tolerate showing skin, even when there was no one to see it. Not that there was anything about his appearance he should be ashamed of, quite the opposite. With his shoulder-length silky raven hair, emerald-green eyes, clear-cut handsome features, and to top everything off, 1.85m. worth of lean, supply muscular body, he was as fine a specimen of manhood as one could hope to find. Every woman in the world would be lusting after him, if not for the expression of those green eyes, colder than the Arctic ocean and less inviting than Guantanamo prison.

He marched straight to his austere bedroom, changed into his pajamas and laid down to sleep. But sleep stubbornly refused to come; not even ‘Mary had a little lamb’ worked on him tonight. He must still be tense after the mission, he concluded. It had not been especially difficult, but Eroica had been there, and lately he found working alongside Eroica increasingly taxing on his nerves.

 

Eroica…

Klaus cast his mind back to his first meeting with this exasperating individual. Things had been really simple back then. They hated each other’s guts, and that was it. And that’s how it should have remained, except that, after a string of fateful encounters – if Klaus was not an atheist, he would have called them divine punishment – the fop had done a complete turnabout and fallen in love with him, of all people. Since then, he had never been free of his pursuit. Eroica had set him in his sights and was chasing him from year’s end to year’s end, showing no sign of even beginning to be discouraged, let alone giving up.

And boy, had he tried to discourage him. There was not one dirty trick in the book he had not resorted to some time or other in order to shake him off. But nothing had worked. His verbal abuses were reciprocated with fond pet names and declarations of love (so much for the notion that queers were sensitive and easily hurt; this particular queer had taken his abuse in more stride than most, if not all, straight men he knew). Physical violence had fared no better; everyone else would cower and shake before his towering rage, but Eroica took his blows with his head held high, openly defying him. He probably was afraid of Klaus at such dangerous moments, but refused to let his fear get the better of him. It was impossible not to respect his attitude, and consequently it was impossible not to despise himself for losing control and yielding to his violent nature those few times he actually hurt Eroica. And then his guilt would make him treat the faggot just a little nicer, and the depraved idiot would get encouraged and more determined than ever.

He had tried lots of other things as well. Tricking him; lying to him; sending him on wild goose chases; shamelessly exploiting his passion for art and beauty; equally shamelessly taking advantage of his feelings in order to attain his mission objectives. He had shown him his worst sides, while hiding his best ones as much as he could, hoping that the thief would eventually be sick of him and disappear from his life. But to no avail.

On the contrary, the more Dorian got to know him, the more he idolized him, and the harder he tried to get close to him. He had even managed to establish himself as his unofficial working partner. Since it was well known that Eroica would only work with him, the Chief, sadistic bastard that he was, usually reserved him for missions that required the thief’s talent for breaking and entering. Which meant that they saw quite a lot of each other these last few years. And while Klaus’ harsh attitude towards Eroica had not softened down one bit, lately he had realized, to his utmost horror, that whenever he found it necessary to fend off the Earl’s excessive flirtations with insults and threats, he did not feel the proper rightful indignation he was supposed to be feeling. Instead, he felt…kind of disgusted. With himself.

Not even he knew when it was that his pure, unadulterated hatred for Lord Gloria had been contaminated by other, more disturbing feelings. By the time he realized it, the change had set in and there was no denying it. First off, the damnable thief had succeeded in earning his respect. Indeed, that was pretty inevitable. Surrounded by incompetent colleagues as he was, it was impossible not to feel the difference of a man whose efficiency and professionalism was on par with his own. His line of work might be illegal, and the man himself insufferable, but there was no questioning his capability and courage. He would die before admitting it to the fop, but he knew that Dorian was a man he could trust with his life…although not with his chastity.

Then there was gratitude. Granted, the crazy queer had messed with him and his missions innumerable times; but he had also helped him out so many times when he was in a pinch, completely disregarding his own safety and never asking for anything in return. He would have to be inhuman to not feel even a little grateful. And while he took great pains not to let the Earl discern his feelings, sometimes the iron mask simply could not hold. Like that time on the Austrian border, when Dorian voluntarily went and took a beating from that KGB agent in order to steal the microfilm Klaus could no longer get his hands on. He would never forget that feeling of acute, painful guilt that swept through him as he watched helplessly that beautiful face getting beaten black and blue for his sake. He had said to the injured Dorian afterwards, “I cannot get angry with you right now. Don’t make me…please”. Not much for an expression of gratitude normally, but for someone like Iron Klaus it was tantamount to the sweetest words, and Eroica knew it.

He was also quite envious of the Earl’s free spirit and complete disregard of what people thought of him. Committed to what he regarded as his duty though he was, Klaus did have a rebellious streak in him; that streak was probably behind the fact that he insisted on completing his missions the way he saw fit, never giving a rat’s ass about his superiors’ opinion – especially that fat pervert Chief. It was probably also responsible for him never hesitating to tell said Chief and others of his superiors exactly what he thought of them, the end result being that he remained stuck to the rank of Major despite his unprecedented record of successful missions. And it undoubtedly had something to do with his stubborn resistance to his father’s nagging to get married. But despite those small revolts, the fact remained that he was not allowed to do his job or live his life the way he wanted. To some degree, this might be for the best – he was aware of the fact that, without his self-discipline and sense of duty, he would be a downright dangerous man. But no matter how hard he tried to condemn Lord Gloria’s self-indulgence as immoral, quite a few times he had caught himself wishing he could be as self-indulgent for once.

But the most alarming feeling of them all was – desire. It’s not like Klaus didn’t have a sex drive. But he had been raised by a narrow-minded, strict disciplinarian of a father and educated exclusively in all-boys schools run by nuns. Inevitably, he had learnt from a very young age to regard sexual desire as a weakness and a sin, unbefitting of a proper man. So he had unconsciously buried his desires deep inside him, repressing them so much that he had practically convinced himself that he should never – and would never – need sex in his life. Even more so, he had become pretty oblivious to it. The women he had met so far – mostly prospective brides his father forced him to meet – might as well be from another planet. They left him completely unaffected. He did not feel any inclination whatsoever to get to know them, let alone be intimate with them. The fact that he worked as an intelligence agent made things even worse. Suspecting anyone and everyone of being a spy – and being very often right about it – made his relations with the opposite sex even more problematic. And of course, homosexuality was out of the question; it was the height of depravity, the worst offence imaginable for a soldier and a man.

Klaus thought he would adhere to these beliefs for the rest of his life, and he might have done just that, if not for Lord Gloria. The Earl had accomplished what no woman had been able to – he had made the Major start thinking about sex. Well, that wasn’t entirely surprising. The man was a walking, breathing sex advertisement. Not only he was so beautiful it was almost a sin to look at him, he flaunted his sexual desires before Klaus without the least bit of shame. At first, his lewd glances and sexual insinuations only made Klaus furious; but after a long while of hearing the Earl describing various indecent things he wanted to do with him, his imagination started having a mind of its own, and he found himself picturing the Earl’s sexual fantasies in his own mind. Needless to say, this realization caused him more panic than any international crisis could have. He redoubled his efforts to drive Eroica away from him, but failed miserably. He even tried to pursue relationships with women on his own, only to confirm what he suspected and feared all along; that they didn’t stir the slightest emotion in him. It seemed that his newly-awoken sex drive was kind of picky: no one but Dorian could get an arousal out of him.   

However, he chose to never act on those feelings. There were plenty of excuses for his decision. He was an army officer, and homosexuality was not tolerated in the army. He was a man of law and order, and Eroica was an infamous international thief, a wanted criminal. He was the current head of the von dem Eberbach family, and had a duty to get married and have a son, to carry on the family line. Last but certainly not least, he was a man of commitment, while the Earl was the most flippant and superficial of men. He could be chasing him around just to indulge his whim, not out of real love.

Plenty of excuses indeed. Problem was, over time they had been proven to be just that: excuses.

For instance, the army had softened down a lot in regards to homosexuality. Even if he was found out to be gay, there probably wouldn’t be any consequences, as long as he was discreet about it. What with all the fuss about the rights of homosexuals, nowadays the high command mostly chose to look the other way, rather than risking an uproar that would bring bad publicity. And he was an extremely experienced and capable agent; NATO Intelligence would not dispose someone with his extensive knowledge and ability over something like that. At most, he would not get any more promotions. So what. That might happen either way, considering his short temper, and besides if he was promoted he would probably have to forfeit field work. Eternal Major on the line of duty was a million times better than fat General stuck behind a desk.

Eroica was still a wanted criminal, but only technically. After having worked on so many NATO assignments, he had learnt quite a lot about the international espionage world, despite the fact he wasn’t really interested. In fact, he knew way too much for NATO to risk losing his allegiance. Therefore, he was still officially wanted by the Interpol, but there was a tacit agreement between Interpol and NATO that he would never be actually caught. The Major had had nothing to do with this; it was a common policy NATO employed with outlaws hired for their services. A community service of sorts. The end result was that even if Eroica decided to waltz into Interpol Headquarters for a cup of tea, he would probably be home again in time for dinner.

As for Klaus’ duty to get married and have children…well, that was one duty he didn’t think he could ever fulfill. Maybe his own grim childhood had something to do with it, but he had never felt the slightest inclination to have children. As for marrying, he had never met a woman he was even remotely interested in. And he would never do something so obscene as tie himself to a woman who would be only after his rank and fortune. Or, even worse, to a woman who would love him and would never be loved back. He had, after all, plenty of cousins and nephews who could carry on the von dem Eberbach name; he could always pick an heir among them. True, that meant giving up his residence at the Schloss, as well as the greater part of his fortune, but Klaus had never been hung up on money anyway, nor did he necessarily need a castle to live in. His flat in Bonn was enough for him. The Schloss was the home he had grown up in and he was fond of it, but also a bit of a pain to manage, and it wasn’t like he would never be allowed to visit if he felt like it. His father would probably have a stroke if he knew his thoughts on the matter, but in the end there was nothing he could do to stop him from doing whatever he wanted; he was an adult and the current head of the family, after all. If, that is, he could figure out exactly what it was he wanted.

Yes, Klaus Heinz von dem Eberbach was running out of excuses, and fast.

Which was why he held desperately onto the belief that Lord Gloria wasn’t seriously in love with him, that he only kept pursuing him because he didn’t want to admit defeat. “Everything I want, I always get” was the Earl’s motto, but he invariably seemed to lose interest in the things he ‘wanted’ once he got them. At first, Klaus was convinced the same thing would happen with him, should he yield to the Earl’s advances. He had even considered for a time to let Dorian ‘catch’ him so that he would lose interest and move on. But his pride had not let him; he refused to sacrifice his own body to another man’s whim, and besides, at the time the idea of intimacy of any kind was still abhorrent to him. And later…when it was not so abhorrent, he still could not do it, because he was scared. Scared to find out that, to Dorian, he was a whim after all.

For after having witnessed Eroica’s tireless devotion to him time and again, he had begun wondering whether the Earl might actually be seriously in love with him. The things he had done for Klaus…one simply does not jump onto airborne helicopters or into freezing lakes just for a whim. Or tolerate insults, threats and even blows for years on end. It was impossible not to second-guess his earlier opinion. But more than that, he wanted it to be true…he wanted to believe that there was someone out there who could actually love him. Klaus had never been loved, because no one had dared fall in love with him. All women that had come on to him, either because of his looks or because of his status, had been invariably scared off after a few glares and harsh words. No one but Eroica had had the nerve to still love him even after his innumerable rejections. That is, if he was serious about it. Because if he wasn’t…if he was merely after another conquest for his list of trophies…then Klaus afterwards would be truly unable to trust anyone or hold onto any hope for the future. At least, the way things were now, he could still afford the luxury of dreaming.

A cruel irony indeed. Iron Klaus, the man of steel who had faced down the most dangerous people in the world without even a trace of fear, was scared to death of being tossed aside by a British queer.

But there was no way around it, which was why the Major was determined to keep resisting Eroica no matter what. It wasn’t that difficult either; over time it had become sort of a conditioned reflex. A pattern. Dorian would flirt with him, he would fly into a rage and mistreat him, Dorian would be hurt, he would feel like an asshole and try to make it up to the Earl a bit, and then the Earl would be captivated all over again and the cycle would begin anew. A real vicious circle if ever there was one, and they were both stuck inside it unless one of them did something to break the pattern. But it didn’t look like Eroica had any such intention, and Klaus, fearful of what a change might bring, could not bring himself to do anything.

“Verdammt”, he whispered to himself. “I must be the biggest wuss in all of recorded history”.

Then he sighed and resolutely closed his eyes. Even if he was the biggest wuss in all of recorded history, he still had a job to do and needed to replenish his energy. He ordered himself sternly to go to sleep, and fortunately, this time he succeeded.

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