Really. What a childish trick. The Major smiled jovially as he led the way through the crowded street. The Earl frowned as the women gave him an appraising look as the two strolled past. He wasn't sure if he should feel good or bad that he was wearing the Major's clothes. He was dressed in light gray slacks and a tight-fitting thin green long-sleeved shirt with a kind of turtleneck collar. He was also wearing a pair of the Major's brown loafers. The pants were a bit too long, but everything else fit like a glove. It had pleased him immensely to put on the Major's clothes while the man himself watched, scowling, from the other side of the room.

All the same, it's not what he would have worn on a date with Klaus, and it's certainly not what he would have worn to this particular location. Then again, he'd heard the women attack those they suspect aren't paying customers, and his usual attire did tend to take away any doubts about Dorian's preferences.

Ugh. He couldn't believe the Major had taken him to the Reeperbahn. They reached a bar the Major seemed to know, and he beamed as he held the door open for the glowering Dorian. A sex club. How classy.

"I hope we can eat food in here." The Earl said in English as he brushed past the Major in the doorway.

"The food here is excellent!" The Major said, smiling broadly and speaking in English with a perfect American accent.

The Earl shook his head as he let the Major lead the way. "I take it you've been here before, then?" he asked, deciding not to comment on the bizarre change in habit just to spite the man.

"Yes," the Major continued, still sounding like the perfect American, "When I was younger. It infuriated me, so I left. But the food was delicious, well worth the four hour drive from Bonn."

Dorian rolled his eyes. "I highly doubt that." He looked down at the table, then looked up, determined to get a small measure of revenge. "Oh, that's right!  I had forgotten what Lawrence told me all those years ago! Of course you would know the Reeperbahn, you're King of the Hamburg nights!"

The smile quickly left the Major's face. He glared at the thief. "That awful mission with Lawrence is not one I like to dwell on."

The Earl smiled, slightly satisfied, then let his mind wander back to his current predicament. He let his gaze wander around the room, where several topless women were waiting on tables in the dimly lit hall. There were several spiral staircases leading up to the second floor, and some girls dancing on stage. A heavy electronic beat pulsed in the background.

Right.

The two slid into a booth with rich plush upholstery on the wall in the alcove surrounding it. A woman made her way over quickly and spoke in German about the services offered. She turned to Dorian first, who frowned and took the path of least resistance.

"Ich spreche nicht Deutche, I'm afraid." The Earl said, shaking his head sadly and waving his hand towards the Major.

"Huh?" The Major continued, still using his flawless American accent. He looked at the girl. "Sorry, I don't speak German. Do you speak English? Can we eat dinner first?"

The girl's face fell, and she ran off. Another girl quickly approached the table. Her English was broken, and the Major toyed with her confusion quite a bit, but ultimately they were served what Dorian had to admit was a very excellent meal with two fine bottles of wine. The two chatted off and on in English through the meal, the Major continuing to use the accent. The Earl almost wanted to laugh and ask about it, but he knew the Major well enough to know it was probably for the best they pretend like they couldn't understand the German the girls were speaking that periodically walked up to the table.

A short while after the meal, the two rose and left, and the Major led the way out to the now-dark main street. Dorian followed silently, puzzled as to their next destination. The meal had been good, but the Major had already had his joke. The girls staring like hungry wolves unnerved him. 

"Um." He began, catching up to the Major. "You are going to... work tomorrow morning, yes? Won't we need to drive back to Bonn before it gets very late?" Dorian was impatient. All the time spent here and lost in the car was time he wasn't going to be able to experiment with the Major's limits. He put his hand on the man's shoulder and stopped him, looking into his eyes. 

The Major looked back at the Earl with a completely straight face. "We are flying back to Koln, and I will have someone pick us up there. It will take too long to drive back. I will retrieve my car from here tomorrow." He continued with the perfect American accent. 

The Major's face did not betray his thoughts, but the Earl smiled and laughed anyway. "All right.  We'll fly back to Bonn. I have to ask, though, why the Reeperbahn?"

The Major continued out to a main street and began waving down a taxi. "It is a rare thing to see you so uncomfortable." He smiled, continuing on with his American ruse.

"Really!" The Earl was indignant. "You really don't need to go to such lengths for that, though."

"Oh? And you haven't done more elaborate things to make me angry over the years? You showed up in Alaska and put an entire KGB in the hospital before they could interfere with a mission? How about all those times in Greece? Rome? What about stealing the Pope, then getting caught by the police?"

"Well." The Major had a point. "The Pope wasn't just to make you angry, you know. He was a wonderful heist. That cemented my place at the top of the Rogue's Gallery, you know."

"The others?"

"Couldn't help it, darling. I love seeing you terrify everyone around you." He smiled as the taxi pulled up and they both got in.

"Idiot." The Major muttered as he settled himself in and gave the instructions to drive to the airport.

The Earl couldn't help himself. "I have to ask, where did you pick up that delightful accent?"

"The American?"

"Yes."

The Major lit a cigarette, ignoring the cross looks he was getting from the driver. "Work." He said simply.

The Earl frowned, wanting more of an explanation, but he figured the Major would not give it in front of the driver. Nor would he likely give it later. The Earl sighed and his thoughts roamed over their earlier conversation. He recalled a photo of himself he'd had taken with the Turkish Agent Z. His face brightened.

"You aren't looking forward to going back to work tomorrow, are you?"

"No."

"Then let me go in your place."

"What!"

"I'd wear that old wig. Nobody would notice."

"No! I will not let..." His voice trailed off as he looked at the driver out of the corner of his eye.  He was silent a moment, and then continued in Russian. "I will not let one of the International Criminal Police Organization's most wanted into the North Atlantic Treaty Organization using my clearance!"

"No acronyms today?" To push a little harder, Dorian continued his side of the conversation in English.

"Quiet! No more on the subject!" The Major settled back into his seat, fuming.

The Earl humored him by continuing in Russian. "But you don't want to go! It's just a ceremony, and I know you'll lose your top at everyone. You're mad about it. Wire me if you have to, but I think it'll be fun to play you for a day."

"NO!"

"Aside from principles, what's the harm? You know I won't steal anything in your office. I have no interest in state secrets. I will have fun. You won't have to suffer through it. You can come back on Tuesday, saying you wore the wig for the ceremony. Or just keep wearing it until your hair grows back, what difference does it make? And honestly, who would notice? Your Chief?  The Personnel staff? The other spies? A? D? You've hired me to impersonate you before to full the Russians! I'm good, you know that."

The Major was fuming. He gave no response.

"Well, then, I'll let you think about it."

They reached the airport. The Major leaned across to pay the driver, then as the Earl and Major were getting out of opposite sides of the car, the Earl heard the driver call out "Have a nice evening, Gentlemen!" in Russian.

The Major swore in German all the way to the ticket desk.

*****

The Major handled the airport about as well as the Earl had expected. Since the Earl had left his passport in Bonn, the Major had to play NATO Intelligence with a prisoner to get him a seat on the plane. The clerk at the desk hadn't believed him since he didn't presently resemble his photo, but after several minutes of harassing the girl and a call to her supervisor, the Major had been cleared. The Earl snickered as they were given tickets. Clearly her supervisor had dealt with Major von dem Eberbach before. Only the real Major could make demands that necessitated calls to supervisors.

They waited a half hour in the airport, the Earl sitting silently and playing the part of a good prisoner while the Major read the evening paper. He knew better than to act up at the airport and blow their cover, and any pleasant conversation with the Major was out of the question. So he watched the crowd.

His eyes went to a pair of young men that came to the gate wearing matching green t-shirts and blue jeans. Both were identical blondes, with faces out of Greek myth. The Earl's eyebrows arched as he watched them bend and attend to their luggage. From their conversation, they were twins attending graduate school in Koln. Theology students. Delightful. 

He turned back to the Major after several minutes to find him glaring at the Earl over his paper. 

"Do not corrupt the youth of Germany, you degenerate!"

"I didn't say anything, I was merely appreciating what was in front of me."

The Major lit a cigarette. "Whatever." He stated, as he went back to his newspaper huffing.

The Earl frowned. He had hoped to see some seeds of jealousy, but he supposed he would never be so lucky. After all, he had chased the Major for twelve years. It was obvious he was dedicated to the man. And he was sure the Major knew that his flirting was harmless and automatic. He sighed and let his mind wander a bit, his eyes landing on an ad on the back of the paper for an exhibition of the work of Rosa Bonheur in Munich. He let his mind wander over the delightful animal portraits the woman did. Horses mostly, which was a pity, but there was something about her style. Perhaps something at the exhibition would catch his eye.

*****

The flight passed uneventfully, and before long, they were pulling back into the Major's castle in a Mercedes identical to the one the Major had left in Hamburg. It was dark, but still relatively early in the evening. Dorian sensed as they were getting out of the car that the Major was at something of a loss, so Dorian took the lead through The Gates of Hell and began walking back towards the stairway that led up to the Major's suite of rooms, not looking behind him to see if the Major or the driver was following.

When he reached the door of the bedroom, he stopped and allowed the Major to catch up and open it. He stepped through and walked to the middle of the room as the Major closed the door and locked it behind them. 

He briefly debated how to proceed. Did he dare broach the subject and try to talk about what they were feeling? Or should he proceed as if he knew the Major wanted what was about to happen?

Well, the Major wasn't one to speak his feelings. He might try to cover up the awkwardness with anger. And he had been eager enough last night. Dorian knew that explaining himself was far harder than acting to the Major, and the worst thing that could happen was a gentle push away, and that would be enough to know that his advances weren't really wanted.

The night before had been sitting between the two all day, but the silence on the matter was comfortable rather than awkward. They hadn't been avoiding the subject. At least to Dorian, there just hadn't been any need to discuss it. 

He turned and locked eyes with the Major. He took in his short black hair, his muscled body that his clothing couldn't hide, his attitude, everything about the man. His heart twisted in his chest. He had never loved anyone as completely as Klaus, and he paused again in his decision as he thought about how much it would hurt if his advances were rejected.

Before he could speak, the Major took three strides across the room, covering the distance between them, and took the Earl up in his arms.

The Earl was shocked at first, then he closed his eyes and they shared a deep, passionate kiss. Had anyone ever kissed as well as the Major? He couldn't remember, couldn't think of anyone else ever in his life as his lips pressed against the other man's. Their skin rubbed together and he could feel the beginnings of the thick cover of facial hair scraping against the skin around his mouth, like a kind of rough caress. The mouths opened easily and simultaneously, and the Earl slipped his tongue into the Major's warm, inviting mouth, once again taking in the taste of cigarettes and the flavor that was simply Klaus Heinz von dem Eberbach. There was nothing else. He pulled the Major's shirt out of his belt and put his hands underneath, greedily seeking the warmth of the Major's muscled back, and lost himself completely to the moment.

*****

The thief had stood there, looking so lost. The Major had been sure he would make the first move since he'd, thankfully, let himself upstairs, avoiding the awkward invitation that Klaus had been working through his mind since the airport.

During the day, the Major had resolved to let the thief do as he would tonight. After all, what difference did it make? He had already made up his mind on the situation, so why not let... well, let the full act take place? He would have to leave himself in the thief's hands, so to speak, because he wasn't sure how such things worked. 

He was pleased that the events of the previous night had not been awkward, either during or after they had taken place. He had worried most about that changing their relationship, about the thief getting silly or possessive somehow, or wanting to talk about it constantly. But their relationship hadn't changed. They hadn't avoided the subject, it just hadn't come up. The Major had been thinking about it all day, but when he looked over at the thief, he only felt that tightness in his chest that he identified with the Earl. It was an anxious love, not because he feared losing the thief, but because he... well, he wanted to be with the thief so desperately. Wanted to talk to him. Hold him. Be with him always. He wasn't sure how this would work on missions, or how he was going to get through work the next day. Not only did he not want to go, he didn't want to leave the thief after they'd just started doing all this.

But he knew the thief wouldn't disappear if he left him for the day. He knew that, in the Earl of Gloria, his feelings were reciprocated. It was something that was both embarrassing and a relief.

The lost look the thief gave him from across the room had nearly broken his heart, so he had simply offered comfort. He concentrated on the feeling of the tongue in his mouth, experimentally followed it back into the thief's own mouth, probing, taking it back out, slowly sucking on and biting the thief's lips, which produced low moans. As the kiss went on, he noticed suddenly that the thief had his hands under his shirt, on his back.

Before anything else happened, he wanted to make sure they were clean. He slid his hands under the thief's rear and picked him up while his tongue was in the thief's mouth, which caused a low groan from the man. The thief wrapped his legs around the Major's waist and gripped his shoulders from behind with his long, slender hands.

He shifted one arm under the thief's rear and walked across the room, easily carrying the man and opening the bathroom door and turning the lights on.

The thief broke contact between their lips briefly. "Please, leave the lights out."

The Major obeyed, flipping the switch and closing the door, leaving the pair in darkness. He knew the bathroom well enough in the dark, so he supposed that was all right. He set the thief down on the sink and began unbuttoning the shirt he was wearing, kissing his chest as he followed the buttons down.

The Earl moaned low while he did this, running his hand over and over the Major's short hair. He was happy to see that the caresses were appreciated. He was gentle this time, just to see if the man responded any differently. When he had the shirt off, he pulled his waist to get him to move forward off the sink, then slowly undid his belt buckle and zipper, pulling the pants down past the bulging erection that was contained within the underwear. He knelt and slowly pulled the pants down, following them down the Earl's leg with gentle kisses inside his thigh and calves. The Earl moaned a bit louder and moved his hands from the Major's head to his shoulders, where he gripped them tightly. The Major reached up and grabbed the waistband of his underwear and pulled them down, freeing the erection, while he looked up at where the Earl's face would be.

"Please." The Earl moaned, putting his hand on the back of the Major's head.

The Major's throat tightened as he straightened, his face in front of the Earl's penis. He thought about it, but realized he would have to wash it before he could bear putting it in his mouth.

"Not just yet." The Major answered in German, rising from his knees with one hand on the Earl's waist to meet his lips again. Experimentally, he put his hand on the Earl's penis. Touching it wouldn't be so bad.

He was fascinated by the smooth, warm skin on the Earl's shaft as he stroked it with his thumb and fingers. The head was wet already, and the Major cupped it in his palm as he wrapped his hand fully around the penis and began stroking back and forth, letting the wetness spread over his hand and onto the length of the full head and shaft. He went slowly, doing the motion a few times with some low moans from the Earl, before pulling his hand away.

The Earl quickly fumbled with the buttons on the Major's shirt, and the Major winced as he heard a few separate and hit the floor in the Earl's haste. He yanked the shirt down over his shoulders and off his arms quickly, and had his belt undone and his pants and underwear around his ankles in one motion. He straightened back up and began frantically kissing the Major, the Major returning the kiss with the same gentle patience he had decided on earlier.

This only made the Earl moan louder. He drew their bodies together, and he could feel the Earl's erection throbbing against him. He was relieved that his body was responding in kind, and that he had an erection of his own, something that he had been worried about over the years. He pulled the Earl in tighter, his feelings overcoming him, and grabbed him under the rear again and lifted him up as he stepped into the shower and turned on the hot water.

The two were quickly enveloped in steam. The Earl, with surprising force, pinned him against the wall and was kissing him like a madman. His tongue worked furiously in his mouth, and the Major sucked against it to keep him from withdrawing it too fast. The Earl broke the kiss and began trailing kisses down his neck and all over his body, and he could feel him kneeling down in front of him.

The Major, somewhat alarmed, pulled him up and began kissing the place just below his ear. The thief began to moan. Gently, while taking his earlobe between his teeth, he grabbed a bar of soap with one hand and massaged it briefly before setting it down and moving his hand back to the Earl's erection, separating their bodies slightly to give himself room to work.

He massaged the head between his fingers briefly, then, while kissing him gently on the neck, he began slowly stroking up and down the shaft again, carefully avoiding the head. The Earl moaned, so the Major increased his rhythm and tightened his grip, then stopped to allow his fingers time to go down and explore his genitals below, careful to let the soap get on his balls as he massaged them. The Earl moaned loudly and slumped against the Major, draping both arms around his shoulders. The Major put his chin on the Earl's shoulder and wrapped his other arm around his back before moving his other hand back to the shaft of his penis. He alternated between massaging the head momentarily, stroking the shaft, and massaging the balls gently, then moving backwards, while increasing the rhythm. The Earl began to moan, and when he moved back to the balls, the Earl's hand reached down to stop him. The Major returned to the shaft and began a very quick rhythm, which finished with the Earl's warm ejaculate spreading over the skin of the Major's abdomen. 

The Major pulled away and stepped into the warm stream of water from the shower, rinsing his hand and waist off. The Earl gripped him from behind and began nuzzling his neck and whispering into his ear.

"Thank you, Klaus. It was wonderful. You don't know how much that meant to me."

The Major said nothing as he grabbed the bar of soap and began lathering his own genitals. The Earl stopped him and began stroking his penis from behind. The Major noted he was using much the same technique he himself had, just variations of grip and finger positions. The Major noted them to try for later as he allowed the Earl to wrap one arm around his waist while he quickened the rhythm with the other. The sensations weren't unpleasant, and he could feel a tightening in his stomach whenever the Earl massaged his balls. He carefully analyzed every sensation to try and decide what he would use on the Earl next.

He lost himself in thought. After several minutes, the Earl's hand dropped away. "My, you've got a bit more stamina than I thought." He whispered in his ear. "Perhaps you really were the King of the Hamburg nights in your youth?"

The Major blushed and pulled the Earl around to stand with his back in the shower stream, so that they were face-to-face. "Idiot." He whispered in German. "I've never even kissed anyone but you." He finished by closing his eyes and giving the Earl a deep, gentle kiss. The Earl pushed away after a moment.

"Thank you for saying that."

He pulled the Major in tighter and began another passionate kiss. He pushed his hips against the Major and pushed him against the cool tile on the back of the shower and began a slow rhythm with his hips. The Major matched it and the two of them paused in their kissing to focus on this. 

The Major was surprised by how natural the rhythm felt, even with a man. His heart beat quicker at the intimate movement, and he squeezed the Earl's waist tight in his arms as the rhythm quickened. After several minutes, he felt something tighten in his stomach, and he moaned aloud as his thoughts locked and a shock went through his body from his knees to his eyes. He spent himself into the dark shower, then gasped as he put one hand against the tile to steady himself as he thought his legs would give out below him. The Earl leaned forward to bite his earlobe and support him as he trembled, and continued a moment longer, the warmth from his body spreading across the Major's abdomen.

The Major pulled the Earl in close and squeezed him as hard as he could, delivering the hardest, most passionate kiss he could give the man.The Earl pulled away, gasping.

"Klaus, the heat from the shower is making me light-headed. Can we move into the bedroom?" The Earl whispered in his ear.

The Major responded by breaking his grip and soaping himself to get rid of the body fluid that now covered his midsection, then rinsed and turned the water off, putting his arm around the Earl's waist to guide him out of the shower and across the room, into the master bed. The two hadn't dried off, so they soaked the blankets as they climbed underneath.

It was a king-sized bed, which had always annoyed the Major, but he found that it might leave several possibilities open to him now.

He pulled the thief close to him and began sucking on his earlobe again, simply holding him close and whispering endearments into his ear in German, embarrassing things that he couldn't believe were leaving his mouth, but he was afraid of the Earl leaving if he didn't make them known.

The two lay next to each other in an embrace, not moving, for several minutes. It felt like an eternity to the Major. He thought the thief had fallen asleep. Then the other man stirred, trailing light kisses from the Major's lips to his ear, down his neck and torso, pausing to massage his nipples gently with his lips, then moving down to his penis.

"May I, please?"

The Major stroked the man's head with one hand and pushed gently at the base of his neck. The Earl pulled the Major's knees up and bent down between his legs to work at the Major's semi-erect penis.

It felt... good. The warmth inside the Earl's mouth, combined with the sensation of the tongue stroking up and down the length, got the erection to its fullest in no time. The Major sat back and stared at the ceiling, concentrating on the physical sensations. He once again lost himself in thoughts of the thief for several minutes.

He was startled, then, when the Earl stopped and sat up. "Do you like what I'm doing, Klaus?" The thief whispered in the dark.

"Do not ask silly questions! Of course I do."

"It's just that... it takes you so long to come. Normally someone without experience is very quick, but you don't really seem to be responding. Are you close?"

The Major sat up, unsure as to how to respond. He didn't think he was close, since he didn't feel the tightness below his stomach like he did before. "No, but you can stop. We will try other things." He murmured quietly in German, then descended on the thief once again with kisses while the two of them sat up. He kissed the thief lightly on the mouth, feeling his own slippery fluids on his lips. He pulled away, unable to stop the repulsion racing through his mind, as he kissed along the line of the thief's jaw and down his neck.

He managed to maneuver the thief around so that he was lying down with Klaus on top. He once again thanked the king-size bed as he massaged the thief's nipples as the man moaned aloud. It occurred to him that he had not been making such noises himself. He didn't feel the need to. Maybe the thief was close to finishing, then?

He slowly kissed his way down to the Earl's throbbing erection. He put his face close, seeing the fluids weeping from the tip in the light from the window. He could smell a slight saltiness to the skin. The Earl gently put a hand around the base of his head and urged him forward, and the Major took the erection in his mouth.

His skin crawled as he tasted the saltiness. He moved his mouth up and down, unwilling to take it in as the thief had taken his. He moved his mouth off and licked up and down the length in the way he remembered the thief doing, paying special attention to the head as he teased it with his tongue. He massaged his balls with his hand, pleased with the guttural moans from the Earl. He periodically wiped the fluid from his mouth by kissing and rubbing the inside of the man's thighs. Try as he might, he could not stop the thoughts running through his mind. He was disgusted. He couldn't help but think repeatedly about how the Earl urinated from his penis.

Ashamed, he licked down the length and moved his hand up to the shaft, prepared to finish with his hands. Thankfully, as soon as his thumb touched the split at the tip of the head, the Earl finished, the fluids moving hot against the Major's thumb and down the length of his penis. The Major moved his face away and pulled the Earl up towards the head of the bed. He held him still against him for a moment, letting the thoughts run through his mind.

Then, unable to stop himself, he stood up and walked back to the bathroom, running the water in the sink to wipe his face off and wash his hands. He returned to the bed wordlessly and put his arms back around the Earl. The Earl had tried nuzzling him again, but the Major just held him tight, whispering apologies and endearments into his ear again. The Earl held still, then curled up against the Major's side and lay with his arm against his chest.

The Major sighed. His skin was touching the Earl's bare skin, and the heat between their bodies was comfortable. He was worried that he had offended the Earl with the sudden stop to their evening activities, but then again, it was late, and he had to go to that annoying ceremony. Just the thought agitated him enough that he wanted to reach for the cigarettes on his nightstand, but refrained, unwilling to disturb the other man. Certainly the fact he was still so close meant that he understood? Had he known why the Major had to stop? What he was doing in the bathroom? 

His thoughts finally slowed and stopped. He fell asleep with the Earl in his arms, content enough in the knowledge that nothing would change that night.

*****