So. Now that he knew the thief could act like a regular human being, did he encourage him? Klaus considered his options as he took a long drag on his cigarette during his evening drive home.
He decided to send the thief a better hint than his last missive. The timing would be perfect, too.
*****
The Earl blinked his eyes open as the morning sun spilled over him in his bed. He stretched and felt the texture of the silk sheets against his skin. July 28th. It was wonderful to be alive, though he didn't exactly relish the extra year piled on his age. Then again, this last year had offered him more fruits than his labors had ever borne over the twelve years he had been after his prey. He allowed himself some indulgent thoughts before he sat up in bed and swung his legs around to stand up.
He stopped cold. On his nightstand was a single English rose. This wasn't entirely unremarkable, since it was the type of thing that one of his men could have left while he was sleeping, though it would be rather bold of anyone but James to come into his bedroom.
This rose was wrapped in a steel wire. With it was an envelope with the Eberbach seal on the back. The Earl broke the seal and read the letter.
"I decided to try something you yourself often do. I have told my chef to expect a guest for dinner tonight. Do not expect more than I can give. Herzlichen Gluckwunsch zum Geburtstag. - KHVDE"
For the second time in twelve months, the Earl found himself waking up in a bed where the Major had been the night before, wearing only his underwear, and with a note to show for it. He once again allowed his mind to get carried away with a fantasy. But just for a moment. There were a lot of things to do if he was going to be in Germany that evening.
*****
The Major was not surprised to see the Earl waiting for him at the door of his castle when he returned home from work. He scowled as he got out of his Mercedes and approached the door.
"Was the door such a work of art that you had to stand out and admire it instead of waiting inside like a proper guest?" the Major huffed angrily, pushing past the Earl, but nonetheless holding the door open for him so that the Earl could enter before him.
"Well, if you must know, yes. Not that I would expect you to know the doors of your own house, but you appear to have a prototype for La Porte de l'Enfer serving as your entrance. It is amusing, to say the least, but perhaps you might have an inkling as to how something so French wound up on your castle?"
The Major frowned as he followed the thief down the hall and lit a cigarette. The Gates of Hell? Well, it would explain why anyone he'd invited over in the past 30 years had seemed inherently terrified when they met him inside.
It was amusing, and the Major gruffly admitted that aloud, adding the detail about his terrified guests. The Earl found it far funnier than he had.
"My grandfather's father was a bit of a degenerate and a Gallophile. I have heard that he acquired many things for the castle and had a residence in Fontainbleau."
"Curious. Your art collection is mostly Dutch and Flemish. The few French painters you have... they are Mannerists, Rococo, and Barbizon painters, nothing that indicated an interest in Rodin's contemporaries."
"I don't know. Maybe they were considered degenerate artists."
The Earl snorted. "Aren't they all degenerate artists to you? Perhaps the Eberbach line after the collector all bore a strong resemblance to you."
The Major took offense, though he couldn't exactly blame the thief. He switched to English briefly. "No, you misunderstand. Entartete Kunst. Our collection is large enough that it is catalogued by the Government. It would have been searched."
"Oh." An awkward silence followed. Well, none of the paintings in the Major's castle appeared to be less than 200 years old. It would make more sense if the Nazis had confiscated the more recent items.
The Major switched back to German in an attempt to add some normalcy to the conversation. "Do not worry. It is all the same to me. I am surprised you would notice such a thing. I had not heard of the house being searched for the art, but I heard enough stories of my grandfather to know that, if you are right about there being no French paintings here, it is because they were taken before the war."
Mercifully, they had reached the dining room, which had been laid out with two settings and a full meal.
"Oh, you got a new set of Messien china! It looks lovely. I'm surprised you're letting me eat off of it, or even see it at all." The Earl said without thinking. He winced as soon as the words left his mouth.
"IDIOT! If you have designs on my dishes, you can leave right now! Will you please not act like a degenerate thief for one night?!"
"But Major, it's my birthday. Am I not allowed one slip of the tongue? I promise I'll be good the rest of the night. Really. I... do not have designs on your dishes." Though they would make for a marvelous birthday present. The Earl bowed and took his seat at the table.
"Very well." The Major made an effort to reign in his temper as the butler uncovered the first course of the meal. The Earl took a sip of wine and once again took control of the conversation.
*****