Things That Go Boom

One man's art...

Klaus could not quite believe where the bizarre investigation had led him. It began with the theft of a case of PE4, a plastic explosive from the British Military like C-4. The SIS had alerted NATO when a source indicated that the target was somewhere in France. This was eventually narrowed down to being somewhere in Paris.

"Still too bloody vague," the Major had grumbled, adding more of his men to the investigation.

The timing could not have been worse, what with things in Germany already on their heads. First was the fall of the Berlin Wall the previous November, and now plans were in the works to reunify the country after forty-five years of separation.

The Major feared that it was a hard-line Communist group planning to make a statement of some kind, possibly throwing suspicion on Paris while the real target was elsewhere. Misdirection was a basic ploy in any act of terrorism.

After weeks of dead ends, there came the most startling piece of news. Eroica was identified as being the one to have stolen the explosives.

"He's a free agent, Major," the Chief had said dismissively when the officer argued that there was no way in hell the Earl would work for the Commies. "His accountant must have him working for the highest bidder."

The argument was logical enough, but Klaus could not reconcile that with what he knew about the Earl. Eroica considered himself a loyal British subject, despite the fact that he had once tried to steal the Coronation Crown. The Major had witnessed the thief getting into a war of words with SIS agent Charles Lawrence, going so far at to call the James Bond wannabe a disgrace to England.

No, Eroica would not steal for the Commies. Of this, Klaus was sure. One of the few things the two shared in common was a deep seeded loathing for the KGB. It might be for different reasons, but it was one of the things the Major could count on when the thief turned up during a mission.

Then again, Eroica had been pressed into service when the Major was forced to join forces with Mischa the Cub in Egypt. Could this be the case now? The Earl was being forced to steal for a third party?

The Major was jolted from his revere when Z came dashing up to his desk with a paper in his hand. "Major, it's confirmed. Eroica's in Paris."

The Major snatched the paper from the agent's hands, scanned in, and then looked up, barking orders left and right. Then he was heading for the door; his destination-Paris.

* * *

"Nothing out of the ordinary so far, sir," Agent A reported when the Major arrived in Paris. A team of agents had been monitoring the movements of Eroica and his gang almost from the moment the Earl was spotted in the city. "The Earl has been going to the Lourve daily. Several times daily, in fact."

The Major took a thoughtful drag from his cigarette. "He's casing the place," he said knowingly.

"From the surveillance team," A said as he held out a pack of photographs. "Only from the outside, didn't want to alert him by going inside where he could spot us."

The Major grunted, taking the photos and paging through them. Several showed the Earl examining the newly erected glass pyramid at the Museum entrance. Admittedly, the Major knew nothing about art, but he did know something of architecture, and the glass and metal edifice looked remarkably out of place.

Then the Major's mind started to make connections, the pyramid reminded him of Egypt, which in turn reminded him of Eroica working under duress in Egypt. Was this also the case now?

Klaus found himself annoyed that someone would attempt to exploit Eroica in such a manner, completely overlooking the fact that he had done it himself on numerous occasions. "No one hits the man but me." He had said it with conviction to that idiot CIA man after punching him in the face. He would happily say it to whoever was exploiting the Earl, possibly also punching them in the face for good measure.

Agent A sat silently as the Major studied the photos, puffed on his cigarette, and fell into a thoughtful silence. He had seen his superior do this countless times, working thing out in his head, puzzling out a situation, fitting pieces together that others had discounted.

Finally, the Major looked up and A waited for his orders.

* * *

At times, Eroica thought of his turning the Major's missions on their heads as his second career. So it was more that a little surprise when the reverse occurred without any prior warning whatsoever. Normally, the Major's interference was retaliation of some sort.

Eroica and his gang arrived at the Louvre in the middle of the night, and everything went just as they'd planned. The power to that particular section of the city suddenly failed, killing the lights at the entrance of the museum. Then Eroica and his men moved in to suddenly find themselves being surrounded by NATO agents.

"Major, this is...such a...surprise!" the Earl said breathlessly as he was dragged into the back of a waiting van. He did not dare resist, since the Major had a very firm grasp on the scarf around his neck and would very likely use it as a crude leash. Or noose.

"For once, you don't say that it's a pleasant surprise," Klaus growled as he unceremoniously thrust the Earl onto a bench in the van before climbing in after him.

"Well..." Eroica hedged, shifting uncomfortably on the bench. "I was rather in the middle of something, you see..."

"I know." Klaus watched as the thief's eyes widened in surprise. Obviously, the Earl thought this meant the Major knew what his plans were, which was no where near the truth. He decided to continue to bluff and sat back, casually puffing on his cigarette. "We've been watching you since you arrived in the city."

Eroica tried very hard not to squirm under the man's intense gaze. He tossed his hair back and tried to make light of the situation. "Really? NATO has been watching...?" He leaned forward, fluttering his eyelashes as he regained his composure. "Or is it just you, my darling Major?"

"Don't look at me like that, you pervert!" Klaus snapped automatically. He gave up bluffing and decided on a frontal assault. "What the hell are you doing with a case of military grade plastic explosive?" he demanded. He was pleased when the Earl sat up straight, stiffening visibly.

"Please tell me that stingy bug of yours isn't selling it on the black market."

"Good Lord, no," Eroica replied, shaking his head. "As much as he would like to, I took it for me."

"You were gonna use it?"

Eroica tried to keep his head high. "Yes."

"Christ! If I didn't know you were such a klutz, I'd let you do it. Unfortunately, you'd end up blowing up yourself and half the city."

"I'm touched with your concern," Eroica said acidly.

The Major gave an indignant snort. "Do you have any idea of the headaches you've caused me?" he snapped angrily. "NATO thinks you're working for the Commies!"

"What!?" The Earl looked highly insulted. "You can't possibly believe that, Major."

"No. You're not that big an idiot."

The Earl gave him a sour look.

The Major crossed his arms and sat back, studying the Earl's set expression a moment. "SIS thinks you're working for terrorists," he said at last.

The response to this was an eye roll. "And NATO thinks I'm working for the Commies." Eroica sat back, folding his arms to mirror the officer's posture. "What do you think, Major?"

The Major blew smoke into the air. "That you're planning something ridiculously over-the-top that could get you and your men killed."

"I see."

Silence fell between them as they sat studying one another. The door burst open, causing them to jump. It was Agent A. "Sir, it's all here."

"Good."

"They were wiring it up around the entrance," A informed startlingly.

The Major was certain he had heard wrong. "What?" He turned an accusing glare in Eroica's direction. "You were gonna blow up the entrance to the Louvre?" he said in disbelief.

"Someone has to rid the world of that...monstrosity!" Eroica said, waving a hand in the air.

Klaus blinked. "You want to blow up the pyramid?" Every time he thought the Earl could no longer shock him, he was proved wrong.

"Oh, don't give me that look, Major," Eroica said angrily, waving a hand toward the still open door through which the pyramid was clearly visible. Agent A wisely made himself scarce at the familiar signs of a battle.

"That horror of modern art has no business being in front of something dedicated to the preservation of works of art," the Earl went on.

The Major found himself stuck for a reply. He was too shocked by the fact that he actually found himself in agreement with the thief. In fact, he secretly wished he could help him fulfill his "mission."

"So, now what happens, Major?" Eroica said, breaking into the officer's train of thought.

"Nothing."

Eroica blinked. "Nothing?" he repeated. "No police? No Interpol? No arrest by NATO?"

The Major shook his head, flicking the butt of his cigarette out the door before going on to light another. "The official story will be that you very conscientiously turned over to NATO some missing explosives that ‘somehow' came into your possession."

"Oh." Eroica felt himself starting to relax.

"SIS and NATO will be very appreciative."

The Major's tone was setting off an alarm in the Earl's head. "And you, Major?"

Klaus gave Eroica a piercing look. "You will...owe me."

Eroica looked into the piercing gaze, seeing a small smile curl the edges of the Major's mouth. It caused a chill to run down his spine. He found himself thinking that he should, perhaps, put his second career on hold for a while. Say a year or two...

* * *