Klaus: No, absolutely not.

Dorian: But you have to!

Klaus: [He shakes his head firmly.] I most certainly do not.

Dorian: Look, the muse-thing gave us only two costumes for this assignment. It's either the red or the white. [He sniffs, hurt.] I was being nice and letting you have the red, since it would, erm, accentuate you so much better. [His eyebrows waggle suggestively.] But really, if you want the white.

[Dorian holds up a small patch of fuzzy white cloth. Klaus gasps, his eyes going huge.]

Klaus: That's not a costume! That's—that's—

Dorian: A towel, very observant.

Klaus: That's not even half a towel!

Dorian: Soooo? Are you going to put the red one on, or must I get you dressed in this? [The earl waves the little hand cloth.]

[Klaus growls, grabs the red bundle, and exits the stage with a fierce glare.]

Dorian: [Clears his throat.] Hello! It was brought to my attention that Ara needed an introductory fic to help get situated in this series. It was hard to think of what to do, but inspiration has finally come. And hopefully, so will we. [Grins.] To achieve that goal, I have taken it upon myself to convince the major to assist in this little project.

Klaus: [Yells from off stage.] No, I'm not coming out like this!

Dorian: But what better thing to be "coming out" in is there? [Dorian ducks a flying spiked shoe aimed for his head.]

[Dorian moves to a small stand with a record player atop it. Turning it on, he settles the needle in place and hurries to the wing to pull Klaus out on the stage before the strains of lead-in finish.]

[Klaus stands, looking properly mortified at the fact that he is in a tight-fitting red dress. Every inch is covered in flashy sequins and a slit runs from the hem at his knee all the way up his left thigh.]

Dorian: Here! [He trusts a mic at Klaus, completing his image as he stands there, stupefied.] Oh, fine, I'll start, you follow my lead...

[Dorian poses as the piano dies away. Looking up through his lashes seductively, he raises his own microphone.]

Dorian: ~At first I was afraid, I was petrified!~

Klaus: [The major hides his face.] Gott...

Dorian: [Twirling his towel before slinging it over one shoulder, he turns to face Klaus accusingly and sings.] ~I kept thinking I could never live without you by my side!~

[He runs his free hand down the length of his body, wiggling his hips in time with the music and taking great pleasure in Klaus' now even redder face. Slowly, he pulls the beaded belt from around his waist, before tossing it to the stage floor.]

Klaus: You wouldn't!

Dorian: ~But then I spent so many nights... just thinking how you'd done me wrong ... And I grew strong!~

[Klaus tries to flee the stage as Dorian begins to undo the very few buttons of his loose, white shirt. Grabbing the back of the dress, Dorian keeps the German from being able to leave.]

Dorian: ~And I learned how to get along!~ – your line, darling. [He twirls Klaus around before the dark haired agent can protest – any more than he already was, at least...]

Klaus: [Cringes.] ~And so you're back from outer space...~ This is such a stupid song...

[Dorian only grins suggestively, and Klaus' eyes grow huge when the thief throws his shirt into the wings.]

Klaus: [Twirls around so he wouldn't have to look at Dorian.] ~I just walked in to find you here, without that look upon your f-face...~

Dorian: [Picks up the beat, since Klaus is beginning to stutter.] ~I should have changed that stupid lock~ [He runs his palms down his chest to toy with the top button of his flared trousers.] ~I would have made you leave your key if I'd have know for just one second you'd be back to bother me!~

Klaus: [Klaus perks at the next line.] ~Oh now go!! Walk out the door, just turn around now – cause you're not welcome anymore!~

[Dorian nods enthusiastically while Klaus only looks put out that his not-so subtle hint had failed. Putting his hand on the German's shoulder, Dorian slinks his way in front of Klaus to gaze at him with conviction.]

Dorian: ~Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with desire?~

Klaus: No, I never gave the slightest – Eep! [He jumps as his ass is suddenly grabbed.]

Dorian: ~Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die?~

Klaus: Oh, if only.

Dorian: [He unzips his pants while undulating his hips in time to the music.] ~Oh not I!~

Klaus: [Looks visibly ill as he whips around, singing loudly to block out Dorian's movements.] ~I will survive, as long as I know how to l-l-love~ [He begins stuttering again as bare arms wrap around his waist.] ~I know I'll – I'll... I...~

Dorian: [Presses his hips against Klaus to make him sway it time as well.] ~I've got all my life to live, I've got all my love to give – Oh, I'll survive! I will survive!~

Klaus: [Weakly, certain he'll never be allowed to leave until the song finishes.] ~Hey-hey...~

[A strained whimper escapes the blushing officer as Dorian pushes the spaghetti straps off his shoulders to nuzzle against the soft skin there.]

Dorian: ~It took all the strength I had just not to fall apart – I'm trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart.~

[Klaus glances back, certain that the blond is just trying to lead him on with the seriousness in his tone.]

Dorian: [Dorian spins Klaus away to continue the stripping of his faded brown pants.] ~And I spent so many nights just feeling sorry for myself.~ [He glanced over at Klaus who was trying to reassemble his little red dress.] ~I used to cry...~ [Klaus' head whipped up just in time to see Dorian kick his trousers off stage.] ~But now I hold my head up high!~

[Again, he retrieved the little white towel to twirl it as he bounded across the stage in only his pristine briefs.]

Dorian: ~And you'll see me with somebody new.~ [Klaus wore a hopeful look on his flushed face.] ~I'm not that stupid little person still in love with you.~ [He bent over to wiggle his ass towards the audience, slapping the towel against his bare leg.]

Klaus: Now that was uncalled for.

[With an ear to ear grin, the tiny briefs went flying and the miniature white towel was wrapped around his waist, mostly covering everything it was supposed to. Regardless, it was enough to make Klaus loose his composure. Again.]

Dorian: [He turns his nose up as Klaus becomes indignant at his complaints being ignored.] ~And so you thought you'd just drop by, and you expect me to be free...~

[Two tiny black neko-muses are seen leading a confused-looking Agent Z onto the stage, who is clutching a pair of faded brown bellbottoms that had been chucked at him. He is led over to where Dorian is, only clad in the towel. Z promptly blushes, his reddened cheeks standing out worse against his fair complexion.]

Dorian: [Grabs Z and lowers him in a full sweeping motion before standing him unsteadily back on his feet.] ~But now I'm saving all my lovin' for someone who's lovin' me!~

Z: [In a squeaking voice:] Excuse me??

Klaus: Tset?! What have you been doing with this --

Dorian: [Raises his hand to cut the major off.] ~Oh now go! Walk out the door!~ [He proceeds to drape himself across Z.] ~Just turn around now, you're not welcome anymore!~ [He holds the mic towards Z who only looks at him curiously.]

Klaus: [Wanting nothing more than for this assignment to be over, Klaus picks up the next line.] ~Weren't you the one who tried to break me with desire?~

Klaus: [Suddenly Dorian's attention shifts from Z back to the red-clad officer. Klaus lifts his chin, ready to tackle the challenge of the mission – even if he was stuck in a dress. At least he didn't have the humiliation of a hand towel. Striding forward purposefully, he sings.] ~Did you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die?~ [He makes a slashing motion with his arm.] ~Oh no not I!~

[Z was effectively dropped, and he scuttled back towards safety. Obviously everyone had gone insane while he hadn't been paying attention. Well, the Earl looked about right, but ... Major Eberbach was still advancing on Lord Gloria, who looked more than happy to be advanced upon.]

Klaus: ~As long as I know how to love, I know I'll be alive.~ [He pushed Dorian down to a kneeling position on the floor, so the other would have to look up at him.] ~I've got all my life to live, and I've got all my love to give. Oh, I'll survive!~

Dorian: [Echoing:] ~I will survive!~ [He reaches up to wrap his arms around the German's waist, swaying to the much faster beat.]

Klaus: [Once again pushes Dorian away, this time more tauntingly suggestive.] ~Oh now go – walk out the door!~ [He walks backwards slowly, the slightest of pleased looks on his otherwise stern face as Dorian follows on his knees.]

Dorian: ~Did you think I'd crumble, think I'd lay down and die? Oh no not I!~ [He rises to one knee, hips still swiveling to the rhythm.] ~As long as I know how to love, I know I'll stay alive...~

Klaus: ~Hey-Hey!~ [The major swats away the earl's hand which begins to grope a little too far southward.]

Dorian: ~I've got all my life to live...~ [He springs up, catching Klaus unaware and bringing them both to the floor.] ~And I've got all my love to give. Yeah, I'll survive! Mmm, hey hey...~

[The last strains of music die off as Dorian leans in to steal a kiss despite Klaus' thrashing about.]

Z: [Mutters as he walks off stage.] G will never believe what I saw today...

[Strings of cursing can be heard behind him, mixed with the occasional low moan of contentment. Trying to tune them out, Z rejoins the "props" crew of neko-muses back stage, who are passing around congratulatory cups of java for a fic well finished.]

Z: Is this sort of things going to become the usual fair around here?

Neko-Muses: [All nod.]

Z: [Sighs and exits.]

~owari~

NT-Muse: Who knows, maybe by the next fic, she'll have actually read some of the manga and will know what she's talking about. =^.^= Till then, hope ya have a good one!